I want to thank you all who have prayed for me as I’ve had and waited on results for my brain and liver MRI’s. I am so very grateful to share that my brain MRI was completely CLEAR and my brain looks healthy (we joked and verified I actually have a brain in there)! The liver MRI seems to indicate that the two suspected metastasis have shrunk. One from .5cm (5mm) to .4cm (4mm) and the other didn’t even show up on all the splices and wasn’t even measured. The radiologist did not compare to the prior CT/PET/MRI images I walked into the clinic and had them upload to my files before my MRI’s on Wednesday so he indicated they were “early metastasis.” I spoke to my oncologist who believes they are my old liver mets that are shrinking and he would like to see surgery to remove my implant/nipple/etc sooner than November.
My oncology surgeon called me and said she is going to speak to the MRI doc and have them look at ALL my past images to verify whether these two spots are my old spots healing (in which case she would concur that moving the surgery up sooner would be ok) or if the old two spots are gone and these are new ones, in which case she would want me to complete this second set of 12 rounds and re-image in November. Once she and the other doc review all the images and make this distinction, she will call Dr. Chue and consult with him directly and then I’ll likely discuss with her/Dr. Chue the end of next week.
So, HUGE PRAISE that the brain is clear. Metastasis there brings a whole new level of invasive treatments. I will say a praise that it seems very logical and likely that these last two mets are what they are seeing and that they are healing! I continue to be in complete peace about all this and am so grateful that God has led me down this path and shown me how to heal and to live well during treatments!
I did start 25G of IVC before chemo again the past two weeks. I went back to having almost no nausea after chemo when I did the 25G of ivc compared to when I replied that with fasting. I also added in a new repurposed med to replace the mebendezole that I take. It’s called febendezole and it is a similar formulation with a similar purpose but mebendezole is approved for humans whereas febendezole is approved for dogs. Yup…I’m taking a dog dewormer. Another guy who had stage IV cancer took it and some other supplements (alongside being in the Keytruda trial) and he’s the only one that survived and is still cancer free. Here is his story and info. Of course none of this is given as medical advice; I am sharing what I am doing and everyone needs to research for themselves and consult with their doctors as to what is the right choice for you.
All that being said, I am just in awe of how God has been working in my life this week. I had to schedule this MRI back to back. Ok, ok, I requested it back to back so I didn’t have to take two MORE trips to Seattle…and those slots were limited so I took the first one available. I realized that it was 9/11 and I had won tickets probably 6 months ago to see the comedian John Crist at the state fair that evening. Initially, I assumed the MRI would conflict with the show and was going to give the tickets away but when I looked at the schedule, I realized that the timing was perfect and we’d get to the fair with enough time to eat dinner and see the show. My husband suggested I invite a friend to go with me and enjoy girl’s night so I did!
It was such a blessing to have my dear friend bring me to my scans and then the show. The two guys who came on before John Crist were awesome too; I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt and my abs cramped up (sometimes happens since my mastectomy).
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 17:22 that “A joyful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
I have experienced this so strongly in my cancer journey. Having a joyful heart truly is part of the healing process. A cancer diagnosis IS CRUSHING…it is SOUL CRUSHING. I’ve described what I felt when I received my diagnosis and both times I received stage IV diagnosis’ and the best way to describe it is soul crushing. Then to add insult to injury, cancer treatments are barbaric. Chemo is poison (and not necessarily a selective poison), radiation burns you, and surgery leaves you scarred and marred. Honestly the realization of “standard of care” treatment and STILL not having any current cure truly crushes one’s spirit. HOWEVER. instead of putting my trust in the oncology standards and claims, I chose to put my trust in God. I am constantly tuning my heart to seek after His will, and he has blessed me greatly. No, he didn’t miraculously heal me when I begged him to. He has consistently shown me the next step. I don’t know if I will ever achieve complete “remission,” if this will be a manageable disease I live with for the rest of my life, or if he will take me in a car accident….and that is ok. I have today and I am grateful for it. I have this moment, right now, to share with you. I receive the honor of pouring into your life and encourage you with my journey and I am so very humbled and filled with joy to be able to be used in such a way. It’s one thing to read the Bible, as I did for decades, but to put it into practice and live it out in the trenches of a “terminal” disease, has been so very beautiful.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” ~James 1:2-6
I have learned so much about God and myself….my true identity. I sense that God will be teaching me so much more in this fall season between my Bible Study Fellowship studies (they are worldwide and online…..CHECK IT OUT), an Apologetics Class at my church (Kitsap friends, check it out), and going through 1 Peter on Sundays at church (listen here or join us). Already a theme of the power of prayer has been shown to me this week but I will save that for another post. It is getting late and I am actually tired. We shall see if the steroid induced insomnia keeps me up or not.
Until next time, May the Lord bless you and keep you; may He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may he lift up his face upon you and give you peace.